


Seo Changbin's Love List

by ashtin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Beach House, Birthday, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Campfires, Coming of Age, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Meet-Cute, Non-Explicit Sex, Road Trips, Sexual Humor, Summer Camp, Summer Fling, all mature themes happen in the second half of the story, apparently it's all that can heal a broken heart, do i really need to tag the endgame ship, follow changbin through his life as he falls in love seven times, ice cream used as a coping method, or have i made it obvious enough with the relationship tags, rating changed for explicit scenes near the end, summer job
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:40:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25395538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtin/pseuds/ashtin
Summary: Changbin made a list of standards for his ideal partner when he turned ten (two weeks after he said goodbye to his first love). Follow him throughout his life as he experiences the ups and downs of falling in love and everything (andeveryone) that comes with it.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Brief Changbin/Minho/Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Kim Seungmin & Seo Changbin, Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Seo Changbin, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Seo Changbin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 25
Kudos: 90
Collections: Summer Boy





	1. PART I: BIRTHDAY

**Author's Note:**

> This fic includes prompts: 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 9 & 10 but do not appear in that order. Prompts are listed in the title of each chapter. Any triggers and/or mature content included in a chapter will be warned in beginning notes and listed/spoiled in ending notes of those chapters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling in love is like falling off a bike... ouchie. Or.. something like that.

**PROLOGUE**

Most nine year-olds wanted the newest model of a popular toy for their birthday. Or they wanted money to buy as many toys as they could without the awkwardness of having to feign happiness when they were gifted something a little less desirable but they were polite nonetheless because their parents made sure they knew present-receiving etiquette, after all! Some kids wanted coloring sets or a collecting catalog for bugs or whatever animal had caught their interest at the time.

Seo Changbin strayed a bit from what most people would consider the norm… His nine-going-on-ten year-old self had his sights set on a different kind of goal for his birthday. He wanted his first kiss! And no, he didn’t want it to be from just any person.

He wanted his first kiss from the untouchable boy with ulzzang looks and rumored chaebol heir, Hwang Hyunjin. It was an ambitious long-term goal, sure. Changbin still had almost half a year before his birthday! But he figured that if he was going to go for something so out there, he would have to start planning much farther in advance than he would for something he could just put down on a list for his mother to send out later.

“Are you crazy?” Seungmin asked as they sat down at their usual lunch table and waited for the rest of their friends to make their way through the food line.

Changbin shrugged and took a bite of his sandwich.

“Possibly.” He answered with his mouth full.

“Keep dreaming, Hyung.” Seungmin said as he watched the boy of Changbin’s desires walk over to an empty table with his lunch tray. “He doesn’t seem all that interested in making friends, anyway.”

Changbin washed his food down with a large gulp of milk and shook his head. “I don’t have to be friends with him to kiss him!”

Seungmin turned his gaze away from Hyunjin to gape at his best friend. “How else do you plan on doing it then?”

“I’ll figure something out.” Changbin mumbled.

“He always looks so lonely…” Seungmin hummed, frowning down at his food.

Changbin stole his own glance at the tall, foreign student that time. Hyunjin _did_ always look lonely, but Changbin thought it was to be expected since he was pretty new to the school.

“What if we go sit with him?” Changbin said quietly.

He watched Hyunjin place a few napkins to the side of his food tray before he sat his chopsticks on top of them. 

“Go ahead.” Seungmin shrugged. “But I told Minju that he could have my chips in exchange for whatever dessert they have in the line today, so I’m staying here.”

“Fine.” Changbin said decidedly and packed the rest of his food back into his lunch bag.

Seungmin raised his eyebrows at the sight. “Oh. You’re really going?”

“Now that you mention it… he does look pretty lonely.” Changbin said sheepishly and pushed his chair back to stand from it, but Seungmin stopped him just before he could leave.

“Tell him he can sit with the rest of us next time. I’d tell you to invite him over right now, but I don’t want to overwhelm him, you know?” He said before he sent Changbin off with a gentle smile.

*******

“H-Hi.” Changbin greeted the newer student bashfully. “I’m Changbin… Would it be okay if I sat here with you?”

The younger boy nodded his head slowly and carefully watched Changbin’s every move as he began to set his food out on the table.

“My name is Hyunjin.”

Changbin smiled brightly upon hearing the boy’s voice for the first time. It was soft and sweet and Changbin swore he could hear the smallest hint of a foreign accent when he spoke.

“You’re from America, right?” Changbin asked after a short silence.

Hyunjin nodded again, still as slow as before, and wiped his lips with a napkin.

“We moved here because of my dad’s work.” He explained before he took another bite of his rice.

“What does your dad do for work?” Changbin asked excitedly. He was ecstatic just to hear more about the other without feeling as if he was bothering him. “Mine works for a college!” 

Hyunjin took a moment to think before he shrugged. “I’m not sure what his work is, exactly... But he’s the boss.”

Changbin’s eyes went wide at the information. 

“He’s a _boss?!_ That’s so cool! Do you like music? I bought a new CD with my alliance the other day.”

Hyunjin’s lips split into the prettiest smile Changbin had ever seen in his nine and a half years of life. His heart did a funky flip in his chest and he felt warmth rise into his cheeks at the beautiful sight and, wow, he _really_ wanted to kiss him now.

“Did you mean you bought it with your _allowance?”_ Hyunjin corrected him in the most adorable manner possible which had Changbin fighting against the urge to _coo_ at him and make a fuss over his cuteness. Never mind the fact that he’d totally used the wrong word! He’d do it again, probably fifty times if it meant Hyunjin would do something so endearingly precious again!

“Ah. Yeah. That… allowance!” Changbin replied, cheeks aflame as his heart attempted to skyrocket to the moon!

“Yes. I love music. I like to make up different dances to rhythms when I’m bored.” Hyunjin shrugged as if it wasn’t the coolest thing Changbin had heard all day.

“That’s so cool! Ah, Hyunjin, you’re so cool! Do you want to be my friend?” Changbin asked excitedly. Maybe a little too excitedly? He wondered if he’d overstepped some sort of unknown foreign boundary when Hyunjin’s face fell at his enthusiastic question.

Hyunjin’s pretty eye smile disappeared and guilty eyes replaced it along with a frown on his lips that made Changbin’s stomach twist into a hundred different knots. Had Hyunjin already been told things about Changbin that made him wary? If so, he wondered what he might have heard and hoped it wasn’t anything too mean… Changbin always made sure to be kind to everyone he met, but he was known to be a little rambunctious and extremely loud when he was particularly excited about something. But Seungmin always reminded him that none of those things made him unlikable.

 _“You’re a fun person to be around. Anyone who doesn’t think so is a square and their opinion doesn’t matter.”_ His best friend always said whenever Changbin voiced his self conscious concerns.

But what if he came off too strong to Hyunjin? What if he already ruined his chance at friendship with the other boy before they could even become fully acquainted?! 

“I… I don’t know if you really want to even bother becoming my friend.” Hyunjin finally said after Changbin had almost psyched himself out to the point of no return.

He knit his eyebrows together in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because. I’m just going to leave again this fall.” Hyunjin admitted in a small voice.

“Well that leaves plenty of time for us to be friends! I’d want to be your friend even if it was just for one day.” Changbin huffed with his arms crossed. They still had the whole summer together if that was the case! Changbin couldn’t believe that Hyunjin would think that he wouldn’t want to be his friend…

“Summer _is_ a long time, isn’t it?” Hyunjin asked with a small smile growing on his face. 

Changbin nodded his head excitedly. “Yes! It’s so long! We have a whole bunch of time to do things! We can go to the movies, you can come with me and Seungminnie to take care of the animals at his grandparents farm!”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened to the size of saucers at _that!_

“We can go see animals?! I love animals!”

“Of course!” Changbin said in a voice much louder than he should be using in the school cafeteria, and a few looks their way had him shrinking down into his seat and continuing quietly, “and you get to pet them, feed them, groom them! There’s horses and pigs and chickens-“

“Do they have doggies?!” Hyunjin asked, the food on his fork long forgotten in the midst of the excitement.

“They have _three!”_ Changbin informed the younger. He could already feel himself growing incredibly fond of Hyunjin and he knew that Seungmin would feel the same once he talked to Hyunjin, too!

“Ah,” Hyunjin finally shoveled the spoon into his mouth and spoke through the bite of food with his free hand covering his lips. “That sounds like so much fun.” He whined, kicking his feet against the floor excitedly.

“I have an idea of other things we can do, too…” Changbin said sheepishly. He was unsure of how Hyunjin would react to his next request, but he was also too curious _not_ to ask! “Maybe you could teach me some words or sentences in English?”

“Sure!” Hyunjin beamed. “I can teach you something right now!”

“Okay.” Changbin wished he had his backpack with him to take out a sheet of notebook paper and make notes on whatever Hyunjin was going to teach him, but the younger assured him it would be easy enough to remember without them.

“Repeat the words after me.” Hyunjin put his elbows on the table and propped his chin in the palms of his hands before he began. _“Hyunjinnie.”_

Changbin squinted at the other boy questioningly, but repeated the word back to him anyway. _“Hyunjinnie.”_

_“Is.”_

_“I-is.”_

_“My.”_

_“My.”_

_“Friend!”_

“I know that!”

“Say the word, Changbin!”

_“Friend!”_

“Now, put the words together in a sentence: _Hyunjinnie is my friend!”_

Changbin sighed but there was a smile on his face that gave away how he really felt before he obeyed Hyunjin once again.

_“Hyunjinnie is my friend!”_

“Perfect! And it means-“

“Hyunjinnie is my friieeeeeend!!!”

Hyunjin broke out into a small round of applause that Changbin joined in on until a teacher monitoring the cafeteria came around and let them know lunch would end soon and they still needed to finish eating! 

And oh! That reminded Changbin..

“You don’t have to eat lunch alone anymore! In fact, I’m pretty sure Seungmin and Minju and Kanghee would love for you to sit at our table. Seungmin’s mom sometimes packs candy to share with us, too!”

*******

And it really was that simple when you’re eight and nine years old. Changbin and Hyunjin became fast friends and Hyunjin found a friend in Seungmin just as quickly. The three of them ate lunch together, played at recess, and waited for their rides home together. The trio was inseparable.

With only a few weeks left in the school year, Changbin voiced his worries about his lack of opportunities to see Hyunjin once their summer break began.

“Well, you have your birthday party to look forward to,” Changbin’s mom reminded him during one of his rants about how he was going to miss Hyunjin. “Make sure to get his address so we can send him an invitation, baby.”

“Yeah, I will… But that’s all the way in August! We still have to get through June and July before then!”

“Hmm.” His mom took a piece of paper from her notepad and wrote something on it out of Changbin’s line of sight. “I’m going to put this in your lunch for tomorrow, okay?” She held up the paper and Changbin could see his mom’s phone number along with her name written under it.

Changbin nodded, but the worry over not seeing one of his best friends never left his eyes.

“Tell Hyunjinnie to give it to his mom or dad so they can call me. We’ll see about having him over sometimes between now and your party. Sound good?”

Changbin’s nod was a bit more enthusiastic that time. “Like Seungminnie does!?”

His mom smiled down at him fondly. “Exactly! Just like we do with Seungminnie. Now, go wash up! We’re having dinner soon.”

“Thank you!” He said sincerely before he hugged his mom tightly. “I’ll go fast!”

*******

Changbin and Hyunjin’s moms ended up arranging multiple sleepovers for all three boys, and a couple of others during the week that Seungmin would be busy with his math camp.

And, just like Changbin mentioned on the day they met, the three of them made numerous trips to the countryside of town and helped Seungmin’s grandparents around the farm. Hyunjin was a big help with all things that involved the animals - even the stinky jobs that Changbin and Seungmin absolutely hated! And all three of them made a game out of helping weed the flowerbeds and harvesting small berry bushes around the property. 

They were paid in snacks, lunch, and all the lemonade they wanted! And on one of the last days they went out to the farm, Seungmin’s grandmother surprised them with a pie that was filled with the same berries the boys helped pick!

*******

“Do you want an invitation to my birthday party?” Changbin blurted out one afternoon while he, Hyunjin and Seungmin were munching on their snack of crackers with peanut butter.

It was Hyunjin’s turn to host them for the final sleep over of the summer before Changbin’s party. His house was across town from both Seungmin and Changbin’s houses, but Changbin’s mom was always happy to drive the boys over.

“Were you not going to just give me one?” Hyunjin asked with a pout forming on his lips.

Seungmin snickered and lightly shoved at Hyunjin’s shoulder. “He asks me the same question every year! We’re already invited, but he just needs to know if his mom should send the actual invitation to your house or not."

“O-Oh.” Hyunjin stuttered when Changbin looked at him with a pleased smirk. Hyunjin frowned at the older boy and pointed an accusing finger in his direction. “You did that on purpose!” He cried, holding back giggles and trying to remain serious.

“Of course I did!” Changbin cried back without so much of an attempt to keep himself from laughing at Hyunjin’s reaction. “Had to make sure you really wanted to go.”

Hyunjin nearly climbed over Seungmin to reach Changbin’s shoulders and shook them. “It’s all you have talked about for the last few months, Hyung! I would have let you know if I wasn’t interested in going by now!” Hyunjin squawked jokingly.

Changbin could smell peanut butter on Hyunjin’s breath and he saw bits and pieces of crackers in the younger’s mouth when he talked, but his laughter continued to grow until he began to feel Seungmin’s frame shaking against his as he broke into a fit of giggles himself. 

Hyunjin draped himself over the laps of his best friends and let out a loud belly laugh that only spurred the other two to laugh even louder until all of their stomachs ached with glee.

*******

Seungmin spent the night at Changbin’s house the night before his party, and Changbin was pretty sure that he was going to spend the next few nights there due to the younger’s parents being away for the weekend. Hyunjin would have been there, but his parents had taken him on a three-day vacation before the summer was to wind down and they would be too busy with preparations for yet another big move.

Even as a guest, Seungmin was ever helpful with cleaning around the house and getting things ready for the party up until they decided to call it quits for the night.

He and Changbin retreated up to Changbin’s bedroom armed with snacks and non-caffeinated soda (they were going to have a long day tomorrow, so they couldn’t exactly stay up until the early morning hours they wanted to), to play Mario Kart until they passed out. But after only two rounds of the game, Seungmin could tell that Changbin’s mind wasn’t on the game. He kept veering off the track and was completely unresponsive to the blue shell Seungmin sent his way at one point.

Seungmin glanced over at him once to see if Changbin was even paying the slightest bit of attention, but paused the game altogether when he saw the trail of a tear going down his cheek.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?” Seungmin asked worriedly. It was unlike Changbin to hide his emotions, or to be so quiet when he was feeling upset, and it was upsetting Seungmin just to see him silently suffering.

Changbin sniffled and shook his head, causing a few more tears to fall.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Seungmin tried, unsure if he would get answers out of a sleepy and sad Changbin that night. 

Changbin nodded and dropped his game controller on the floor. 

“You go get changed and I’ll put up the snacks and game stuff, Hyung. You had a long day, I’m sure sleep will make you feel better.”

Changbin highly doubted that. But he wasn’t in the mood to talk or explain anything to his best friend. He just wanted to fall into his bed face first and sleep for as long as he could. The later he woke up the better, that would just mean he was that much closer to seeing Hyunjin again!

He did as Seungmin instructed and listened to the other boy busy about the room and clean the mess they’d both contributed to before he finally retreated to the bathroom to change into his own night clothes. Changbin wasn’t sure how long Seungmin spent in the bathroom, but it was long enough for him to doze off between the time he went in and when he felt the bed dip under Seungmin’s weight as he climbed into it.

“Goodnight, Hyung.” Seungmin said through a yawn, scooting close enough to Changbin that he could feel the body heat coming off of him, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable heat at least.

He was grateful for how exhausted he felt. Grateful that his mind didn’t race with ‘what if’s and ‘what could be’s if Hyunjin didn’t have to leave him. But if his brain had kept him up, he knew he would have rathered reminisce about all the good times the two of them had with Seungmin... 

“Night, Minnie.” Changbin mumbled into his pillow before he knocked out for good.

*******

But all good things must come to an end. (Changbin often quoted Seungmin on that when they were having a good time and both know that what they were doing wouldn’t last forever.) And that was exactly the thought Changbin began his tenth birthday with when he woke up that morning.

Hyunjin was to leave by the end of the week, and Changbin still hadn’t confessed his feelings for the other boy.

Seungmin’s advice was great, and Changbin was sure that he would do exactly what the younger said… But he wished there was a way to change the certain future. Instead of Hyunjin leaving only days after knowing Changbin’s true feelings, he would make it to where Hyunjin’s dad’s job didn’t make them move! He’d make it so that Hyunjin and his family could continue living there comfortably so he could see the face of his first love every day!

Though, even if Changbin was too young to understand the importance of grownup jobs like Hyunjin’s dad, he wasn’t naive in the fact that he knew there was nothing to do to stop it from happening. He was fine with becoming Hyunjin’s pen pal, but for someone as touchy feely as Changbin, he feared that something like that wouldn’t be nearly enough.

Great. Now he was second guessing the confession all over again… 

“Hyung.” Seungmin’s tired voice called out to him from the other side of Changbin’s bed. Seungmin was by his side seconds later, curling his arms around Changbin and holding him close. “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks, Minnie.” Changbin managed a small smile and returned the embrace with as much love as he could. He kept his arms around Seungmin as he sighed and pressed the side of his face into the younger’s shoulder. “Why does it feel like today is going to be sad?”

“Because part of it _is_ going to be sad.” Seungmin stated simply, carding his fingers through Changbin’s unruly bed head. “Just remember that it’s going to be just as sad for Hyunjin, too. Okay?”

Changbin’s bottom lip jutted out in a pout and tears began to well up in his eyes. He quickly turned his head so that his face was pressed into Seungmin’s chest and sniffled. “I hadn’t even thought about _that!_ Now I feel bad for even feeling sad for myself…”

“Don’t focus on the sad stuff for today, Hyung.” Seungmin did his best to cheer the older boy up knowing that the tears were partially his fault, now. “It’s going to be a happy day! Cake, presents, friends!”

Changbin sniffled a few more times and hiccuped once before he composed himself enough to stutter out his next words. “T-That sounds l-like a w-weddiiiiiii-i-ing! I want to marry Hyunjiiiiiiiiin!”

Seungmin flinched when the whining turned into wailing.

“Think about it, Changbin.” He began, patting Changbin’s back comfortingly while he sobbed pitifully into Seungmin’s chest. “Even if Jinnie was staying, you wouldn’t be able to marry him! Not for a very _very_ long time. Who knows? Maybe he’ll come back when you’re grown ups and you can marry him then! But if you were to be together with him now… there’s a higher chance that you’ll fall out of love with him before you’re old enough to even think about marriage!”

Changbin’s loud cries of heartbreak subsided into soft coughs and hiccups as Seungmin went on with his usual sense making. But even as he listened, he could still feel himself growing more upset.

“So! So!” He sniffled hard and sat up in bed. Seungmin laid himself back into the pillows and sighed quietly to prepare himself for whatever his hyung was about to go off about. “So you’re saying that I should just forget him?! Even if what you said is all true… I still want him to know how I feel. I just want to know if he feels the same.”

“Will knowing how he feels toward you make you feel better or worse about the whole situation, though? Hyung, I’m not saying this to make you miserable. I _want_ you to be happy!”

“I think…” Changbin let himself fall backward onto his pillows and reached his hand out to play with the hem of Seungmin’s nightshirt. “I think I want to know. I think having that closure is what I’ll need to move on.”

“And you don’t think it has the possibility of making it harder to move on? Depending on how _he_ feels?” Seungmin prodded.

“Ah!” Changbin threw his hands up in the air before he covered his face with them. “I don’t know! I don’t know, Seungmin!” 

“Okay, okay.. Let’s try not to dwell on it for the morning, huh? Come on,” Seungmin slid from the bed and pulled on Changbin’s arm until he groaned and followed suit. “It’s a happy day! Happy Changbin Day!!!” Seungmin announced excitedly as he led Changbin into the bathroom to wash up.

*******

Seungmin helped Changbin with the rest of the tidying while Changbin’s mom prepared food and his dad and older sister went out to pick up the birthday cake. The party was scheduled for just after lunch, but Changbin was ready for a nap by noon! The only thing that kept him kicking was remembering that Hyunjin was going to arrive earlier than the rest of his invited guests. His parents were dropping him off as soon as they got back into town from their vacation, so he was sure the younger would be tired from such a long journey. He made a mental note to offer Hyunjin a nap in his bedroom once he arrived.

“Hyung!” Hyunjin exclaimed the moment Changbin swung the door open and flung himself into Changbin’s arms with a tight embrace. “Hyung, we went to the zoo!”

Hyunjin’s parents passed a pretty bag off to Changbin’s mom and each told him happy birthday and expressed their wish to stay for the actual party, but they had business and packing to get to.

Changbin wished that he hadn’t heard the last part, but he knew that he would have to accept it sooner or later. He just rathered it be much, _much_ later…

Seungmin was by them in an instant and hugging Hyunjin to himself. Anyone could tell that the three of them were tired, but the excitement between them was positively buzzing just from being in each other’s presence. They still had over an hour before anyone else was supposed to arrive, and Changbin’s mom proposed that they could take a nap if they were really tired, but she was met with three childish pouts and Changbin’s petulant whining about how that would be such a waste of time! 

“Well, excuse me!” She teased back. “Then perhaps you can make yourselves useful by tying balloons to random pieces of furniture, and make sure to post a few outside where they’ll be visible from the street!”

“Yes, ma’am!” The three of them answered simultaneously with a playful salute before they took off to complete the seemingly simple task.

And it was simple enough in theory. Take a balloon ‒ already blown up with helium by Changbin’s dad ‒ find a random spot in the living room or kitchen, even the hallway, and tie it to a sturdy object. Easy.

Except... when you have three _strong_ and differing opinions over where they should or shouldn’t be placed. Changbin had gone for five of the blue balloons and instantly took off for the mailbox, where Seungmin and Hyunjin quickly caught up with their red and yellow balloons. That ended up being the one time they agreed on placement and color coordination.

Three balloons, one of each color and string height were attached to the mailbox and all three boys found it satisfactory. It wasn’t until Hyunjin caught Seungmin trying to tie one of the yellow balloons to the back of a dining chair that problems started to arise.

“Minnie, that doesn’t make sense! What if a grownup doesn’t have a place to sit and they’re forced to stand near the chair? Then they won’t be able to see past it!” Hyunjin said as he tried to undo the tie Seungmin had already done.

“But they can just move… the balloon can stay here, Jinnie! It’s not going to hurt anyone!” Seungmin shook his head and lightly slapped Hyunjin’s fingers away from the tie before he tightened the knot back up.

Hyunjin surrendered easy enough, but both Seungmin and Hyunjin groaned at the sight of Changbin tying one of the balloons to a door knob to the bathroom.

“Changbin-hyung… of all places you could choose. Really?” Seungmin scrunched his nose in distaste and Hyunjin snickered to himself.

“Wait,” Hyunjin said through his giggles. “Keep it there! Now we’ll have a real party pooper!”

Seungmin and Changbin stared at each other for a moment before they both turned to look at Hyunjin and broke into a bout of loud laughter.

The balloon fiasco went on for half an hour, which meant the boys still had a little bit of free time before the party started, but the three of them were slumped together in the center of the couch. Changbin in the middle with Seungmin on his left and Hyunjin to his right.

Seungmin eventually looked between the other two and then at Changbin with an expectant expression that told the older to get his butt into gear! The look alone made Changbin’s heart race with various emotions.

He was excited because he was at least eighty-percent positive that Hyunjin either liked him back or had some sort of growing feelings about him, and he’d be fine with knowing about either!

He was nervous.

 _Of course_ he was nervous! He’d never liked someone as much as he liked Hyunjin, or at least in the same way he liked Hyunjin, in his entire life! What if he did the wrong thing? Said the wrong words? Once Changbin’s nerves started creeping up on him, it became a hard uphill battle to escape them, so he quickly tried to banish those kinds of thoughts from his head. But one thing he couldn’t shake no matter how hard he tried…

He was scared.

Changbin was terrified that he’d read all the signs wrong ‒ were there even signs in the first place? ‒ and that Hyunjin didn’t see him in any light other than a good friend. Which, Changbin could also live with if it happened to be the case. He’d lived with it up until then, he could continue living knowing that they could be best friends for life. But just the thought of rejection scared the living daylights out of him. He thought he knew Hyunjin well enough to know that a confession wouldn’t ruin what they had as friends, but he was ready to drop the whole plan of action at the thought of Hyunjin looking at him with disgust.

A sharp nudge of Seungmin’s elbow to his stomach brought Changbin out of his worrisome head and back to the living room and the problems at hand. 

Oh. Right. Hand holding.

He’s got this. He can do it. Come on, Seo Changbin! Just reach your hand out and grab Hyunjin’s. It won’t be hard. Look, Hyunjin’s hand looks lonely! Remember when he looked lonely at lunch the first day you approached him? Remember the way he smiled at you when you asked him about music, and the love in his eye when he talked about how much he adores animals. Oh, maybe you should ask him about the zoo! Conversation starter! Changbin, do _something!_

“Jinnie.” Changbin started, already feeling out of breath after just one word.

“Hmm?” Hyunjin turned his face to look at him and Changbin wanted to swear.

He held it in. Miraculously. 

Changbin picked up Hyunjin’s left hand and looked at it curiously while his heart beat wildly in his chest.

“How was the zoo?” He asked simply, playing with Hyunjin’s fingers for a few more seconds before he threaded them together with his own.

Changbin held his breath and waited for Hyunjin to pull away from him, but it never happened. In fact, Hyunjin took a mere two seconds to look down at their joined hands before his eyes were back on Changbin’s and he had the prettiest smile on his lips as he began to explain his exciting zoo adventure!

“It was amazing, Hyung!” He began, tightening his hold on Changbin’s hand. “This zoo had so many animals I’ve never seen at the ones back home! I thought of you and Seungminnie when I saw the llamas because you two always say I look like one…” Hyunjin made an effort to look both Changbin and Seungmin in the eyes before he glared at them. “Which, I do _not_ look like them! Not those ones, anyway.”

Changbin felt Seungmin’s chuckles against his side more than he heard them, and it brought a smile to his face. He was so happy. So content, as Hyunjin continued on with his animal adventure packed vacation! His first love on his right and his best friend on his left. He just wished it could stay that way forever.

But they had to separate eventually. Once the doorbell rang to announce the arrival of the first guest, it seemed as if it didn’t stop ringing until everyone Changbin and his parents invited had arrived. Their house was crowded with friends and extended family members, but Hyunjin and Seungmin made an effort to keep close to Changbin the entire afternoon. They gave him space once food and cake had been eaten and the present opening began, but they were by his side once Changbin expressed his thanks for the gifts and all the children were dismissed to play outside. They posed for countless photos taken with Changbin’s mom’s new digital camera, and a few others taken with the polaroid camera Seungmin and his parents had gifted to Changbin. 

They took turns looking at the physical photos with sweaty and sticky fingers from too much sugar mixed with playing hard outside and laughed at their shining red faces that smiled back at them.

“Hyung, let me take one of just you and Jinnie!” Seungmin said with a _look_ in Changbin’s direction as he took the camera into his freshly washed hands (Changbin’s mother insisted on it if they wanted to take photos by themselves).

“We should all take doubles!” Hyunjin suggested, already pulling Changbin close with both arms secured around his waist. “Let’s use the side of the house as a backdrop!” 

So with both of Hyunjin’s suggestions, the trio moved to the side of the house where the only traffic coming through came in the form of a few birds, butterflies, and stray lady bugs here and there as Seungmin tried to figure out what the optimal distance would between them and the camera would be.

“Step back, all the way against the brick, Hyung.” Seungmin instructed Changbin when the elder took a step forward to avoid Hyunjin’s finger poking into his side.

“Yah! Stop poking me, Hwang Hyunjin!”

“Fine, fiiiine!” Hyunjin said in a sing-song voice before he held his arms up in surrender. “But I’m still hugging you for our picture! No matter how sweaty and gross you think you are! I want to hug you because I like you!”

Seungmin’s eyebrows shot to the top of his head and he took Changbin’s sputtering and blushing as his cue to take the photo. “Okay, on the count of three, you two!”

“One!”

Seungmin lifted the viewfinder up to his eye and made sure he had both boys in the shot as they scrambled to fix their pose once more.

“Two!”

Changbin allowed Hyunjin to settle his arms on his shoulders and hook around the back of his neck, while he looped his own arms around Hyunjin’s lower back and they both looked at the camera with blinding smiles.

“Three!” Seungmin said, and just _barely_ caught himself from not taking the photo when Hyunjin moved at the last second. He turned his head to face Changbin and planted his lips right on the older boy’s cheek in time with Seungmin’s finger coming down on the shutter.

_Click._

“HYUNJIN-AH!” Changbin exclaimed as the photo smoothly slid out of the film eject slot.

“What?!” Hyunjin squealed back but kept his hold around Changbin’s neck. “Did you hate it?”

Did he _hate_ it?! No! But Changbin’s heart sure as heck wasn’t prepared for something like that!

“N-No, but you should give me a warning at least!” Changbin stuttered and took his own turn to pinch Hyunjin on his side before asking in a smaller voice, “..can I return the favor?”

“I was hoping you would.” Hyunjin answered in a voice just as shy.

Like Hyunjin, Changbin waited until the last second to press his lips to Hyunjin’s cheek, but Seungmin would swear that Changbin held himself there for a whole two seconds longer than Hyunjin did. And he knew that Changbin would have probably kissed Hyunjin on the lips if he’d known that Hyunjin was okay with it in advance. They ended up taking another set of photos per Seungmin’s advice and decided to keep the first set to themselves rather than show them off to their parents and friends.

“Does Seungminnie want kisses, too?” Changbin asked, reaching for the camera to let the other two take their photos together.

“Gross. I do not want either of your cooties!”

“Aww, c’mon Min!” Hyunjin teased Seungmin by making a kissy face near his cheek.

“I will kick you in the shin, Hyunjin.” Seungmin said with a murderous glare, effectively making Hyunjin shrink away and stick to linking his arm through Seungmin’s elbow and making peace signs with bright smiles for the photos.

5PM came faster than any of the boys were ready for...

Almost all of the party guests had said their goodbyes and all that remained were a few straggling family members who stayed to help clean up the large mess of leftover food, cake, and the trash that was left scattered around the house. Hyunjin’s parents were downstairs with the other grown ups to say their goodbyes to Changbin’s parents. Like their children, the parents had become good friends over the past few months and they expressed their thanks to Changbin’s parents for welcoming Hyunjin into their home on multiple occasions and were sorry that it had to come to an end so soon.

The three kids in question had escaped up to Changbin’s bedroom to have their own private goodbye where Seungmin quickly finished with his and left the room. 

“I’ll be going downstairs, first! Uh, take your time, guys!” He’d said with a wink aimed at Changbin.

Changbin and Hyunjin stayed seated on the edge of Changbin’s bed and stared at the ground in front of them without saying anything for a few awkward moments before Changbin finally broke the silence.

“So... My parents said that you might come back to visit during the summers?” He reached out his hand and closed his fingers around Hyunjin’s, enjoying the warmth that spread through his entire body when the younger boy flipped his hand to return the hold on Changbin’s.

Hyunjin nodded. “Mhm. My dad said we will at some point or another. He has to come here for work every once in a while, but this time was for a loooong time, so my mom and I came with him. I’m glad we did.”

Changbin turned his head to face the younger with shining eyes.

“I’m glad you did, too.” He whispered. “Hyunjin…”

“Yeah?” 

“Can I give you a kiss before you leave?” Changbin asked boldly. It was amazing how much confidence he’d gained just from the cheek kisses they’d shared earlier that afternoon.

Changbin’s mind thought back to the first time he ever talked to the beautiful boy when he nodded. It was the same shy nod of his head he’d given Changbin when he asked if he could sit with him at lunch; slow, careful... adorable.

“Okay. Stay still.” Changbin ordered with a slight squeeze to Hyunjin’s hand before he began to lean with his eyes squeezed shut.

The kiss was quick; nothing more than a press of their sun-chapped lips against each other before they pulled back and were startled by two quiet knocks on the door before Seungmin poked his head inside.

“You parents are calling you down, Hyunjinnie!” He said in a hoarse whisper before he looked between the two blushing boys who were now scrambling to scoot off of the bed. 

Seungmin smirked knowingly and wiggled his eyebrows at Changbin, who covered his face with his hands.

“We were just on our way!” Hyunjin said, pulling one of Changbin’s hands away from his face to hold it in his own and pulled the older out of the room with him and didn’t let go of his hand until they were downstairs so Changbin could hug Hyunjin’s parents goodbye.

Realization didn’t fully set in until Changbin was stepping away from the adults and he began to sniffle. “Th-Thank you for the birthday present. And... thank you for letting Hyunjin be my friend.” He said, bowing his head to them.

“Aw, Binnie.” Hyunjin’s mom looked down at him with a smile while Hyunjin’s dad kneeled down in front of him.

“I’m sure Hyunjin has already talked with you about possibly visiting, right?” 

Changbin nodded his head a couple of times with his lips in a full pout.

“Your dad has my email address and we’ll do our best to stay in contact. But if you ever need anything, I’m just an email away, alright?”

Changbin nodded again and Hyunjin’s dad stood up and made his way to the door with Hyunjin’s mom.

Hyunjin stalled by the staircase for a moment before he rushed forward and barreled into Seungmin and Changbin with his arms hooked around each of their necks. “You two are my bestest friends in the whole world.” He said quietly and with as much sincerity as the nine year old held in his heart.

He pulled back and looked into Seungmin’s eyes first. “Watch out for Binnie-hyung, and take care of yourself, Minnie.”

Seungmin nodded with a small, sad smile. “I will!”

Hyunjin’s answering eye smile was brilliant, but it mellowed out when he turned his head to face Changbin. “And you... Don’t cry when I leave, okay? We’ll see each other again someday. I’m sure of it.”

Changbin sniffled in response, but no tears fell from his eyes as he nodded. “Promise?” He asked in a pitiful voice.

“Promise.” Hyunjin said with a sad smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.

*******

Changbin and Seungmin did their best to distract themselves by going through all of Changbin’s birthday gifts once Hyunjin left. It worked for most of the evening; Seungmin convinces Changbin that they _had_ to play the Mario Party game that Changbin had received from one of his relatives, and once they were tired of that they switched over to building one of the three LEGO sets until Changbin’s mom reminded them that he was now the owner of the new Avatar movie in Blu-ray!

“Hyunjin would love this movie, too.” Changbin whispered when the movie was coming to a close. 

He’d done so well up until then. Seungmin, too… But they were both miserable when it came time to go to bed. Changbin tossed and turned to try and get comfortable until Seungmin took the initiative to pull Changbin to his side of the bed and held him close. 

“He was my first love.” Changbin tightened his fingers around the material of Seungmin’s shirt and he swallowed thickly. Hyunjin told him not to cry... but he was finding it increasingly harder to follow the order every time he thought about the fact that he might not see Hyunjin ever again.

“I know, Hyung.” Seungmin said softly, sliding his fingers through Changbin’s hair because he knew how much it comforted him. “Wanna go get a midnight snack? I’m pretty sure there’s lots of ice cream left over from earlier!”

Changbin nodded his head into Seungmin’s shoulder and let the younger lead him downstairs and fixed them a large bowl of vanilla ice cream to share.

****TWO WEEKS LATER****

Summer’s end was just on the heels of their sandal-clad feet, and both Changbin and Seungmin were determined to finish the last week before school started with a bang. 

“Oh my gosh. I need a list.” Changbin said out of the blue while watching his show. Seungmin wasn’t paying too much attention to the TV since he was on the last book he wanted to squeeze in before the week was up, so he had no idea what Changbin was talking about.

“A list?” He asked, glancing over the top of his crisp paperback. 

“Yeah!” Changbin pointed at the TV screen that was now paused on a show Seungmin had no real knowledge about. “I need to make a list of requirements for my next love!”

Seungmin slowly lowered the book into his lap and marked it with the sheet of paper he used as a makeshift bookmark. He’d been just as affected by Hyunjin leaving as Changbin had, but he wasn’t the one going through the heartbreak of losing his first love. He couldn’t even pretend to try and understand what Changbin wanted to accomplish with such a list, but if it was going to make his best friend feel better, then he was all for it!

“Okay. Let’s make a list.”

* * *

Changbin made a list of standards for his ideal partner when he was ten. He wrote them up on a green sheet of construction paper with a permanent marker that Seungmin snatched from his mother’s desk drawer - Seungmin might have helped write a lot of it, too... 

“He has to be taller than me.” Changbin had mused thoughtfully as he began to write it down.

 _“He?”_ Seungmin asked, eyebrows up to his forehead in surprise.

“Seungmin, I’ve been ruined for all girls after kissing Hwang Hyunjin.” Changbin spoke as if it was the most obvious fact in the entire world.

“But how do you know that if you’ve never even kissed a girl?”

“Have you ever kissed someone, Minnie?” Changbin asked haughtily, tapping the capped end of the marker against his sharp chin.

“You know that I haven’t.” Seungmin answered with a sigh. “You would be the first to know if I had.”

“Exactly. Trust me, I have the experience.” Changbin said with a proud grin before he continued to write his list.

Seungmin rolled his eyes and snagged the marker from Changbin’s hand to poke him in the side with it. “What’s next, weirdo?”

_1\. he has to be taller than me (seo changbin)_

_2\. he has to be ~~foriein~~ foreign (with some exceptions: hwang ‘sam’ hyunjin) _

“So what would the exception be?” Seungmin queried after he finished writing the line for Changbin.

Changbin pursed his lips in thought for a short moment before his eyes lit up. “Like, like someone who goes away and comes back. Or maybe.. if they’re from Jeju. I would count that as an exception.” Changbin shrugged. “Next!”

_3\. he should be smart (ideal but not set in stone)_

_4\. he must have a love for animals (pet not required, allergies)_

_5\. he should be rich (bonus if he is a boss)_

“Rich? So money is what would buy your love?”

“No, but money will buy us a good wedding, house, animals, food..” 

“You have points, but I don’t think... never mind. Next.”

_6\. he has to think i’m adorable (even when i’m angry)_

“It would be more impressive if he thought you were adorable even when you’re bawling your eyes out.”

“Shut up. No one is cute when they cry.”

“I am.”

“Anyway. Next.”

_7\. he should propose to me while on a roller coaster :)_

“Hyung... a roller coaster? How?”

“If he loves me enough... he’ll figure something out.”

_Signed, Seo Changbin_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> twt/insta: @lovelyjjix  
> cc: curiouscat.me/lovelyjjix


	2. PART II: CAMPFIRE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah... that sweet, _sweet_ dramatic pre-teen love.

The list was something he rarely looked back on. Really, the only useful purpose it served was for all of the times Seungmin would use it against him when Changbin declared his love for some random boy he passed by in the halls at school.

Two summers later Changbin went to an all boys camp where they were taught survival tips, tricks, and did crafts and leadership exercises. It also included a variety of recreational classes and activities that included a few of the selling points for a stubborn twelve year old Changbin.

And, finally, it was where Changbin met the second love of his life after Hyunjin: Han Jisung.

*******

Camp Namu was new, fresh, exciting, and it held the promise of adventure, knowledge, and new experiences for all campers to attend! Changbin, ever the skeptic, fought tooth and nail to convince Seungmin to attend the camp with him.

 _“But! What if it ends up being absolutely awful?!”_ Changbin had yelled into his favorite pillow on Seungmin’s living room couch.

Seungmin had only shrugged before he gave Changbin a half assed response. _“Then I’ll be glad that I didn’t have to go, Changbin. For the last time: you will be fine!”_

Seungmin wanted to drop the conversation altogether then, but he didn’t want the last few hours spent with Changbin for the summer to be spent with his hyung pitifully moping around his house.

So he’d reminded Changbin about the very same list the older boy was thinking about as he laid his travel set of bed sheets over the two inch thick mattress on the bottom bunk of his chosen bed. Changbin’s eyes wandered over each boy in his cabin, but none stuck out to him. None that he thought would even come close to making a dent on his list, anyway.

He carried on with his task of organizing his belongings in the cabin he shared with thirteen other boys that were around his age until it was time to go for dinner at the mess hall.

The mess hall, despite its dingy name, was almost painfully clean and bright. It smelled heavily of fresh cleaning supplies mixed with whatever foods the staff had prepared for them, and the fluorescent lights were a bit harsh on Changbin’s sensitive eyes in contrast to the dimming lights outside.

Changbin glanced out one of the windows from his place in the food line and gauged that it would be well after dark by the time he was done eating. The miniature itinerary printed on the back of Changbin’s neon blue name tag had another block of free time scheduled after dinner before a welcome bonfire was to happen around 9PM.

He shuffled forward in line, not paying attention to those around him as he thought of all the things he wanted to text Seungmin once he got back to his cabin. He was so caught up in his head that he almost jumped a foot in the air from surprise when someone thrusted a food tray into his gut.

“Sorry, dude.” The small boy mumbled out when Changbin let out a pained grunt when the tray made contact with his stomach. “I thought you heard me. Are you alright?”

Yeah. Yeah. Changbin was just fine. More than fine. 

In fact, he was so alright that he fought the urge to sprint back to his cabin and call Seungmin that very second. He needed to scream about the absolute _angel_ that had practically just sucker punched him in the stomach with a plastic tray. If that didn’t sound like an entrance made by the love of Seo Changbin’s life, he didn’t know what did!

“Oh, yeah. No sweat, man.” Changbin managed to say, but not without cringing at himself at how freaking dumb he sounded.

“Jisung.” The blonde angel said with an apologetic grin on his dainty, heart-shaped lips.

“Jisung.” Changbin repeated back to the boy before he saw the very same name on his highlighter pink colored name tag. “Uh. I mean, I’m Ch‒”

“Changbin.” The boy nodded. “I can read.”

“Yeah.” Changbin said dumbly. “Yeah. Sorry. Uh..”

“Do you want any fruits, Changbin-ssi?” Jisung asked casually and pulled Changbin down the line along with him. The first selection was an abundance of bowls filled with vibrant fresh fruit, but Changbin grimaced at the first bowl and shook his head.

“I’m allergic to strawberries.” He said, already eyeing the bowls of grapes and oranges right next to the strawberries.

“Alright. No strawberries. Got it.” Jisung joked lightly, loading his own small bowl full of orange slices and apple pieces.

Changbin piled on grapes into his fruit bowl before taking a couple of orange slices for himself, and they moved on through the line in a similar fashion after that. Jisung would ask Changbin if anything caught his eye in the food line, and it took great restraint for Changbin _not_ to make a flirtatious joke. Every. Single. Time.

“Oh.” Jisung stopped them just outside the food line and looked out at the seating area. Really, it was just rows on rows of wooden tables and benches all lined up long ways, and they were steadily filling up with the rest of the camp goers as they left the two main food lines

“Do you want to sit with me?” Jisung finally asked, albeit a bit hesitant.

Changbin did his best to hide the excitement bubbling in his chest at the simple question and nodded politely.

“Great! Let’s go sit over there!” The other boy inclined his head toward the emptier side of the mess hall and they set off.

*******

**cbinnie <3: **SEUNGMIN

 **cbinnie <3: **SEUNGMIN HE’S SO PRETTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :( :( :( :( :(

 **cbinnie <3: **qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq

 **seungminnie~:** lol

 **seungminnie~:** Pretty, huh? what’s his name?

 **cbinnie <3: **Han Jisung. MINNIE HE SPEAKS ENGLISH

 **seungminnie~:** oh boy. that basically marks off ‘foreign’ right?

 **cbinnie <3: **I’LL COUNT IT

 **cbinnie <3: **He’s at LEAST 2cm taller than me & just over a year younger than me too

 **seungminnie~:** oh wow, binnie hyung… have u asked him to marry you yet?

 **cbinnie <3: **-_-

 **cbinnie <3: **i don’t even have his # yet!!!

 **cbinnie <3: **BUT

 **sungminnie~:** BUT?!

 **cbinnie <3: **but he wants me to meet him by the volleyball court 10min b4 the bonfire so we can walk tgt

 **seungminnie~:** Q___Q they rly grow up so fast

 **cbinnie <3: **shush!

 **cbinnie <3: **we have schedules tgt all week too! he’s going to do music claaaaaaaass! q_____q seungmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!

 **cbinnie <3: **he’s perfecrt

 **seungminnie~:** lol when is the bonfire hyung

 **cbinnie <3: **9PM

 **seungminnie~:**..u do kno its 8:52PM right?

 **cbinnie <3: **OH SHIT

 **seungminnie~:** go get ‘em tiger

 **cbinnie <3: **LOVE U BAIIIIII

 **seungminnie~:** better txt me details~<3

 **cbinnie <3: **u know it!!!! <3

Changbin managed to sprint his way down to the volleyball court, where Jisung _swore_ he’d only arrived one minute before him, and they walked down to the designated area for the large open fire with Changbin’s stomach doing back flips every time his and Jisung’s shoulders brushed against each other.

*******

Recreational music class with one, Han Jisung felt far from ‘recreational’ to someone like Seo Changbin.

Seo Changbin could read sheet music and he knew how to play simple melodies on the piano, so it was a big ego boost when he was able to show off his elementary level skills and left the rest of the class in awe. Even Jisung looked amazed!

But it was all an act, Changbin quickly learned when Jisung asked to have a go with the guitar.

Changbin instantly recognized the soft melody Jisung began to play, but he couldn’t quite put a name to it, even when the younger started to _sing._

Oh. Yeah.

Changbin was pretty sure he was in love with the slim boy who had a heart shaped smile, the voice of an angel, and laughter that sounded like sunshine personified. 

Han Jisung was a musical genius. In the hour and a half they spent in the class, he taught Changbin a common chord progression that was used to play many songs he knew, and then he taught him the simple melody to twinkle twinkle little star. In return, Changbin taught Jisung the same song on piano and played the pieces he knew from his lessons by heart when Jisung asked him “pretty please with a cherry on top, even though strawberries would be better, but you’re allergic and I don’t want you to die!”.

And, well, Changbin definitely couldn’t say no to _that._

*******

That wasn’t the last time Jisung was ever-so-cautious over the darned allergy. When they went through the line for breakfast the next morning, strawberries were some sort of theme for almost half of the food items that were laid out to choose from.

“Do you not want any yogurt?” Changbin asked when Jisung avoided the entirety of the cold selections and walked straight to the hot food items. “What about milk?”

“But they have strawberry flavor right next to the chocolate and plain.” Jisung whined. He looked back at where Changbin was still standing beside the milk and bit his lips guiltily. “I don’t want to jeopardize your health…”

Changbin giggled and picked up one of the small chocolate milk bottles and held it up to show Jisung as if to make a point. “It won’t hurt me, silly. They’re in separate containers. And _you_ can have strawberry things! Just make sure you don’t plan to kiss me after you eat or drink something strawberry and we should be fine.”

Jisung’s whole body went rigid at Changbin’s words, and the older boy feared that he might have said the wrong thing until he saw the prettiest blush creep into Jisung’s honey-toned cheeks.

“N-Noted.” Jisung mumbled. He grabbed a plain milk bottle and a pre-packaged bowl of cereal and _still_ blatantly avoided all things that were strawberry.

Changbin willed his heart to forget about the words he’d said to Jisung and the possible implications behind the younger’s actions. Instead, he poured all of his focus into picking what he wanted from the hot section of the food bar as they made their way through the line.

**cbinnie <3: **SEUNGMIN!

 **seungminnie~:** HYUNG

 **cbinnie <3: **;;

 **seungminnie~:** oh no. what happened?

 **cbinnie <3: **HE’S

 **cbinnie <3: **SO

 **seungminnie~:** perfect, huh?

 **cbinnie <3: **PERFEEEEEEEEEEECT! :( :( :( :( :(

 **seungminnie~:** Soooooooooooooooo. Spill!

 **cbinnie <3: **i only have 5min before my second classfor 2day

 **cbinnie <3: **BUT

 **cbinnie <3: **we had bfast tgt right

 **seungminnie~:** as u probably will for ur remaining 4 days, as well.

 **cbinnie <3: **ANYwAY

 **seungminnie~:** yes yes. u only have 4 min left now. hurry up! ^^

 **cbinnie <3: **he knows im allergic to starberrries

 **cbinnie <3: **strawberries*

 **cbinnie <3: **so he avoided all the strawberry stuff @ breakfast this morning

 **seungminnie~:** that’s like, adorable as heck. low key.

 **cbinnie <3: **RIGHT?! not even the best part!

 **seungminnie~:** oh dang, hit me!

 **cbinnie <3: **i told him he could eat strawberry things as long as he didn’t plan on kissing me after

 **seungminnie~:** o___________________________o

 **cbinnie <3: **he got all blushy and cute and STILL didn’t grab anything w/ strawberries 

**cbinnie <3: **q______________________________q

 **seungminnie~:** u know what that means

 **seungminnie~:** time to propose!

 **cbinnie <3: **huuuuuuusssssssshhhhhhh!

 **cbinnie <3: **he’s just so. so. SWEET!

 **cbinnie <3: **I don’t need strawberries in my life if i have him!

 **seungminnie~:** how poetic of you ^^

 **seungminnie~:** u should head to class now. what is it today?

 **cbinnie <3: **DIY arts and crafts

 **cbinnie <3: **we have music again tomorrow and crafts one more time on the last day. so they alternate!

 **seungminnie~:** oooh~! bring me back a crafty souvenir! ;;

 **cbinnie <3: **what do u want? you’ll be the first to get a SCB Original!

 **seungminnie~:** make any animal you’d like. i would love to see what your hands can create lol

 **cbinnie <3: **YOU GOT IT

 **cbinnie <3: **ok going now <3

 **cbinnie <3: **i’ll txt u probably around dinner time

 **seungminnie~:** i’ll be waiting<3

 **seungminnie~:** have fuuunnnn! ^^

After a ten minute demonstration over the different types of arts and crafting tools that would be at the campers’ disposal, Changbin quickly chose a few packs of colored modeling clay and went back to his table to start on an animal for Seungmin. Jisung was in the same class, just like he had been for their music slot the day before, but the class they were in now was set up a little differently. Due to the amount of materials they were using, the camp staff did their best to keep everything as organized and orderly as possible. That meant keeping the campers sectioned at different tables according to the color of their name tag, which was also in coordination with their cabin ‘teams’. 

Changbin only had a side view of Jisung from his seat, but it was enough just to know that the other was there. He _could_ holler out to him just to see the smile on Jisung’s face or hear his happy voice from across the room, but Changbin held himself back. Even from the side, Changbin could tell that Jisung was hyper-focused on his craft project and it motivated him to work harder on his own, making the next hour fly by in a flash!

A mess of pink, white and black clay surrounded Changbin’s station by the time he was one, but he was extremely pleased with the outcome of his present for Seungmin, nonetheless.

“What on God’s good Earth is that, Seo Changbin-ssi?” 

Changbin jumped in his seat when Jisung’s awe-filled voice whispered into his ear.

“Yah!” Changbin whipped around and shoved the younger boy with little to no actual force behind it. “Don’t sneak up on people like that!”

Jisung’s loud answering laughter was contagious and Changbin couldn’t help but to giggle along with him once he realized how ridiculous the whole situation looked.

“And it’s a bunny!” Changbin defended his clay creation with his nose in the air. “It’s a present for Seungminnie.”

“Ahh, I see.” Jisung said with a wide smile, nodding as he examined the creature up close. “What a lucky guy Seungmin-ssi is, then.”

“What did _you_ craft then, oh sarcastic one?” Changbin asked with a roll of his eyes.

Jisung’s grin turned shy for a split second before he stuck his tongue out at Changbin. “Wouldn’t you like to know!”

“That would be why I asked, yes.”

Changbin shrugged and began to busy himself with cleaning up the straps of unused clay and brought his clay bunny over to a table that was set up to let various crafts dry overnight.

“It’s a secret.” Jisung whispered with a soft smile. “You’ll see in a few days.”

“It better be worth the wait, Han-ssi.”

Jisung shrugged his shoulders at that and Changbin felt his heart do a few more of those stupid flips when the younger winked.

“Are you going to send Seungmin-ssi a photo of his gift?” Jisung queried when Changbin took a picture of the pink animal thing.

“No. It’s going to be a surprise for him. This picture is just for memory’s sake.”

“Oh. Well… Can _we_ take a photo together. For memory’s sake?” Jisung’s usual confident stature was nowhere to be seen. Changbin was almost amazed to see the younger so unsure of something and nearly forgot to answer him.

“Uh, yeah! Of course. We can take so many photos! We should take a selfie or three now!” Changbin reached his hand out to fix a few of Jisung’s bangs that had gone astray and spotted a speck of white modeling clay on the younger’s forehead.

“Cute.” He murmured, completely unaware of Jisung’s wide eyes and blushing cheeks. “Let’s go take selfies outside and then we’ll get some lunch.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Jisung answered breathlessly.

“Would it be alright with you if I send one or two to Seungminnie? I’ll make sure you look good in them!” Changbin asked once they found a spot with decent shade from the glaring afternoon sun.

Jisung shrugged. “Sure. Can I see a picture of him?”

Changbin his head enthusiastically and quickly searched through his photo gallery to pull up his favorite picture of Seungmin. It was taken just a few weeks before when the two of them had gone to a park together. In the photo, Seungmin had just come down the slide and Changbin was ready and waiting with his camera app open to take his picture. Seungmin’s smile was bright and contagious and Changbin adored the photo more than any other of him.

“He’s my best friend!” Changbin proudly announced as he showed off the smiley boy on his phone screen.

“He’s cuuuute.” Jisung said with his lips pursed into an endeared pout. He handed the phone back to Changbin and his pout shifted into a soft smile before he whispered, “but you’re cuter.”

Changbin’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach and heat rose high in his cheeks at Jisung’s words. “Y-Yah.” He said weakly and turned his head to try and hide the obvious blush from Jisung’s teasing eyes.

*******

**cbinnie <3: **MINNNIIIIIIIEEEE!

 **seungminnie~:** yes, good afternoon changbin-ssi

 **seungminnie~:** how may be of service?

 **cbinnie <3: **we’re going swimming today!

 **seugnminnie~:** ;________; i wanna go swimming!

 **cbinnie <3: **we’ll go swimming when i get back! promise!!

 **seungminnie~:** DEAL! make sure to wear sun block!

 **cbinnie <3: **I will!

 **seungminnie~:** I’m serious hyung. sun damage can lead to skin cancer

 **cbinnie <3: **ok ok. i already said i wold wear it

 **seungminnie~:** make sure jisung-ssi wears some too!

 **cbinnie <3: **yes, mom <3

 **seungminnie~:** shut up! i’m allowed to be worried for u

 **cbinnie <3: **and i love u very much for worrying over me <3 <3 <3

 **seungminnie~:** ugh.

 **cbinnie <3: **say it back, loser

 **seungminnie~:** lol

 **seungminnie~:** love you too hyung<3

 **seungminnie~:** send me photos of you again. i think i forgot what ur face looks like already

 **cbinnie <3: ** _[5 photos attached.]_

 **cbinnie <3: **we took those yesterdayyyy. are u satisfied??

 **seungminnie~:** ah, there’s my growing boy!

 **seungminnie~:** it looks like they’re feeding u well at least

 **cbinnie <3: **A little too well, honestly 

**seungminnie~:** god, jisung is a cutie too… sigh. good on u for finding such a pretty one, hyung.

 **seungminnie~:** OH have you had s’mores yet?

 **cbinnie <3: **Not yet! i think they’re saving those for the campfires on the last night

 **seungminnie~:** oh that sounds exciting!

 **cbinnie <3: **okay jisung said he’s ready to go. i’ll call you around dinner time again!

 **seungminnie~:** it’s alright if you don’t! but i’ll look forward to it either way ^^

 **cbinnie <3: **<3

 **seungminnie~:** <3

The lake at Camp Namu was deemed unfit for swimming a few years back after a camper had some sort of bacterial infection from the waters and almost sued the camp. A recreational pool was installed a year later and Changbin was beyond grateful for it. The very thought of having to swim in uncertain and dark, murky water scared the shit out of him! There was something that felt infinitely safer about a regulated chlorine pool that was constantly supervised by two lifeguards, and Changbin preferred it that way. He knew they still used the lake for various other activities like paddle boats and canoeing lessons, but neither activity particularly struck an interest within Changbin.

Still, as comfortable as he felt as he approached the gated pool area, Changbin cold practically feel the nerves rolling off Jisung in thick waves.

Changbin reached out to him with his free hand and pulled Jisung to the side when they reached the cool shade of the dressing rooms attached to the pool area.

“Are you okay?” He asked, eyes searching Jisung’s for any sign of discomfort, but all he could see was an apparent shyness clouding the younger’s usual confident aura.

“I’ll be okay. I just get nervous at the thought of having to take my shirt off in front of other people.” Jisung said, waving his hand in front of him as if he could just wave away Changbin’s concern.

“You don’t have to take your shirt off if you’re uncomfortable with it! There’s no rules against swimming with a shirt on.” Changbin said.

Jisung worried his bottom lip between his teeth in thought for a long moment before he came to a sudden realization. “But the chlorine could ruin my shirt… My mom would get so mad.”

Changbin began to strip his own shirt off without a second of hesitation and pushed it into Jisung’s hands. “Wear mine. It’s old and I don’t mind if the chlorine warps it.”

Jisung turned the shirt over in his hands a couple of times before he glanced back to Changbin. “Are you sure?”

“Positive!” Changbin confirmed with a nod of his head before he picked out a small locker for them to store their phones and towels in. “You can go change by the showers if you want.”

“Just,” Jisung put his phone and towel inside the locker and faced Changbin. “Can you turn around? It should only take a moment for me to change.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure!” Changbin said and quickly spun around to face the exit, giving Jisung the bit of privacy he needed to change.

“Okay, I’m done.” Jisung poked Changbin’s back and giggled when Changbin yelped dramatically before turning back around. “You can wear my shirt back to your cabin when we leave and I’ll return yours when it’s dry.”

“Sounds like a pretty fair deal.” Changbin said, clasping his hand around Jisung’s shoulder and steering them out of the changing rooms.

*******

“Are you going to hold onto the wall the entire time we’re out here?”

Changbin wasn’t one to judge anyone for much of anything, _especially_ over the fact of whether or not someone could swim. But he was beginning to wonder why on Earth Jisung would even bring up the suggestion of going swimming when he had so many problems with the activity in the first place.

“I’ll, uh.. I’ll let go eventually. I just need to get used to the water again.” He responded shakily.

Changbin thought it over for a moment before muttering, “oh, whatever!” to himself and swam right up to where Jisung was holding onto the concrete wall that surrounded the pool for dear life.

“I’ve got you.” Changbin said softly, one arm curving around Jisung’s waist as he gently coaxed the younger to pull away from the wall. “Just keep kicking your legs back and forth. I’m not going to let you drown. Promise.”

“Pinky swear you won’t let go!” Jisung let go of the wall with one single shaking hand to offer his pinky out to Changbin and looked at the older expectantly.

Changbin quickly complied and hooked his free pinky around Jisung’s with a sweet smile. “I, Seo Changbin, pinky swear that I won’t let go of you unless you tell me to.”

Jisung exhaled slowly and nodded his head. “Okay… Okay, I’m ready.”

Getting Jisung out to the middle of the pool took a little bit more of coaxing and a ton of comforting words of encouragement from Changbin. But it was all worth the beautiful gummy smile he received from Jisung when he realized how far they were from his original spot by the wall!

“I _can_ swim.” Jisung confessed a few minutes later when more camp goers began to arrive at the pool. “But I get extremely nervous when my feet can’t reach the bottom of the pool anymore.”

“Should we swim back to the shallow end?” Changbin asked with worried eyes. He didn’t want to engage in anything that would cause Jisung to become so anxious.

“N-No. I want to try floating around here with you!” Jisung gripped Changbin’s shoulder harder at the thought of having to move again.

“We don’t have to swim at this end if you aren’t enjoying it, Sung.”

“I _am_ enjoying it because I’m with you.” Jisung confessed quietly. So quietly that Changbin almost wasn’t able to catch it over the loud, joyous screams of the other campers.

And if Changbin was smarter, he would have confessed his growing feelings for the younger boy right then and there. But they just stared at each other; faces only inches apart due to Changbin’s firm hold around Jisung’s tiny waist. And Changbin swore he almost forgot how to breathe for a moment when Jisung’s eyes dragged their piercing gaze down to his mouth and back up in one tantalizingly slow manner.

“I could kiss you right now.” Changbin muttered lowly, his own eyes taking their turn to flit down to Jisung’s pretty pink lips and back up for emphasis.

“Good to know that the feeling is mutual.” Jisung whispered back.

And really, if they weren’t smack in the middle of a public swimming pool and surrounded by a dozen or more other kids, Changbin doubted he would be able to hold himself back.

Someone to the left of them let out some form of victory screech before they yelled, “cannon ball!” but neither Jisung nor Changbin paid it any mind until waves that were formed from the camper jumping into the water splashed them both in the face and jostled Jisung out of Changbin’s grasp.

It took a moment before Changbin’s eyes were clear of the water from the waves of the canon ball impact and he was able to search for Jisung. He nearly had a heart attack when Jisung’s head popped out of the water just over a foot away, coughing and sputtering to get the chlorine water out of his mouth.

Changbin acted quickly and secured his arms around Jisung once more before he swam them over to the safety of the wall.

“I’m pretty sure I just swallowed at least half the water in this damn pool.” Jisung joked in a hoarse voice when he was finally back to breathing normally again.

“Wow. Half of the pool, huh?” Changbin deadpanned with a sly smile on his lips. “Impressive.”

“Shut up, loser. You’re the one who pinky promised you wouldn’t let go of me.”

Changbin shrugged, but tugged Jisung even closer to him in response. “I’m pretty sure Rose promised Jack the same thing... But we both know how _that_ turned out.”

Changbin could _see_ Jisung struggling as he tried to hold back a smile at the reference and the elder found it highly amusing.

“I don’t know what is more appalling... The fact that you have seen Titanic, or the fact that you just made _that_ reference!” The younger said all while he was fighting not to laugh.

But Changbin didn’t care much about anything aside from the pretty blush on Jisung’s cheeks, their closeness, and the speed of Jisung’s racing heart Changbin could feel against his own chest.

“Come on, dork.” Changbin had pulled them closer to a ladder and climbed out before he helped Jisung climb up after him. “Let’s go get dried off and we’ll stop at the snack shack for a bite to eat before we have to get ready for leadership classes.”

**cbinnie <3:** minnie

 **cbinnie <3: **i think he’s addicted to mountain dew

 **seungminnie~:** oh gross.

 **cbinnie <3: **but it’s cuuuute!

 **seungminnie~:** until he’s bouncing off the walls with a sugar high

 **cbinnie <3: **I tried it too. it’s not terrrrrible

 **seungminnie~:** well of course not. things that are overall bad for the body usually taste great!

 **seungminnie~:** but that doesn’t make it good for you

 **cbinnie <3: **siiiigh. i can’t complain. he bought me a green tea and some chips to tide us over until dinner

 **seungminnie~:** oh yeah, what happened to texting me after/around dinner?

 **cbinnie <3: **sue me for wanting to fill you in sooner than then!

 **seungminnie~:** I’m kidding hyuuuuuung<3 I’m happy you’ve been messaging me often despite the fact that you’re pretty busy

 **cbinnie <3: **pfffft, this is what you get for not coming with me

 **cbinnie <3: **still haven’t forgiven you for that. T_T

 **seungminnie~:** but what if i DID come with you? u might not have ever met mr sunshine sugar lips

 **cbinnie <3: **HEART*** lips!

 **seungminnie~:** he’s sugar lips now that i know he’s addicted to mtn dew. sry.

 **cbinnie <3: **LOL i wonder if he’ll kiss me if i tell him i want some sugar

 **seungminnie~:** i just rolled my eyes so hard. BUT you better tell me if you guys kiss!

 **cbinnie <3: **i promise u will be the first person to know, minnie!

 **seungminnie~:** ^^ good!

 **cbinnie <3: **i gtg. leadership lecture soon

 **seugnminnie~:** take good notes! you could be someone’s boss someday!

 **cbinnie <3: **LOL

 **cbinnie <3: **kind of glad jisung and i have this class separately because i definitely wound’t be able to pay attention if he was there

 **seungminnie~:** smh

 **seungminnie~:** BYE!

 **cbinnie <3: **toodles! <3 

**seungminnie~:** <3 <3 <3

“Can I hold your hand until we get back to the cabins?” Jisung sprung the question on Changbin when they were on their way to the late night activity down near the lake. Changbin thought it was a little odd that the camp was doing a firework show on the fourth night and campfires on the fifth, but he wasn’t about to complain about it. Especially not when Jisung was curled around him with their hands tangled together while they were sitting on the blanket Changbin brought with him.

Changbin nodded and playfully knocked their shoulders together.

“We might not have the best view this far back, you know…” Changbin said, observing the other clusters of campers who were seated on the ground much closer to the pier.

“I’ve got a great view from here, trust me.” Jisung said, hooking two fingers under Changbin’s chin to turn his head and face him. “Hmm, yeah. Perfect.”

Changbin rolled his eyes and took Jisung’s hand into his other free one before he lifted it to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to warm skin of the younger’s palm.

“Tomorrow night is our last night here.” Jisung whispered when the pink of his blush began to fade from his cheeks. “And I was thinking we could try to snag the fire pit just inside the woods. You know, the one just off the side of the hiking trails?”

“Yeah? Any specific reason you want to be so secluded?” Changbin asked.

Jisung gulped and bit at his lips nervously. “I- uh.. I have something to show you. And I don’t want to bother anyone else with it.”

Changbin had to raise an eyebrow at that, but Jisung was already looking away; probably too nervous of whatever Changbin’s reaction would be to be able to face him comfortably.

Changbin didn’t bothering questioning it. “Sure. That sounds nice, Sungie.”

The fireworks show was beautiful, Changbin was sure of it.. Even though he only caught bits and pieces of it in the reflection of Jisung’s wide, sparkling eyes until the very last ember faded into ash and nothingness.

**cbinnie <3: **i’m. so. screwed.

 **seungminnie~:** how were the fireworks?

 **cbinnie <3: **they looked pretty dang good from what i saw of them in Jisung’s eyes... 

**seungminnie~:** Corny.

 **seungminnie~:** did you kiss him?

 **cbinnie <3: **i kissed his haaaand.. might kiss him tomorrow night @ campfires

 **seungminnie~:** awwwww

 **seungminnie~:** word of advice: don’t use tongue on the first kiss

 **cbinnie <3: **ew. seungmin -_- how would u even KNOW that?

 **seungminnie~:** idk. saw it in a clip and it didn’t look pleasant

 **cbinnie <3: **...what the heck have you been watching

 **seungminnie~:** things and stuff

 **seungminnie~:** speaking of things and stuff

 **seungminnie~:** gotta blast!

 **cbinnie <3: **lol w/e. i’ll talk to u tomorrow minnie<3

 **seungminnie~:** enjoy your last day, hyung! <3

 **seungminnie~:** miss you ;;

 **cbinnie <3: **miss u too<3

*******

Changbin had no idea that Jisung was even capable of being so quiet until he encountered the strange phenomenon early that very next morning. Breakfast was never a _loud_ event, but Changbin at least expected a joke or two out of the younger when he pretended to reach for the tongs that were placed in the bowl of strawberries while they were in line. All that had gotten him was a slap to the hand and squinted eyes of judgement from Jisung before he forced Changbin to move forward in line and away from the strawberries.

“You okay?” Changbin finally asked when he heard Jisung sigh into his porridge for the fifth time in less than five minutes.

“Meh.” The younger answered with a shrug. “This week just flew by so fast. Don’t you think so, too?”

Changbin frowned at his cereal. So Jisung was upset because their week was nearly up... Changbin felt the same way, but he didn’t want to dwell on the sadness of it all. Not when they still had twenty-four hours of fun left together!

“Time flies when you’re enjoying yourself. And sometimes it passes in the blink of an eye!” Changbin did his best to cheer the younger boy up, but he couldn’t help but feel the same pang of sadness in his chest at the thought of their precious time together coming to an end.

They had given each other their messenger IDs to keep in touch via texting and phone calls once they went back home, but they hadn’t talked about what would happen once they wouldn’t be able to physically see each other any longer. Changbin himself was unsure of how he would go about a long distance relationship, or if Jisung would even be interested in a relationship at all! But he supposed they would save such a talk for the campfire event that evening.

Crafts was their only class together that day, and it was spent with the pair being separated to opposite sides of the room, once more. Changbin _still_ couldn't see what Jisung was working on either, so he had no clue if the younger had any sort of finishing touches to put on his creation from Wednesday, or if he started on something entirely new. Changbin was satisfied enough with the mutant-looking bunny he’d made for Seungmin, so he grabbed a red clay and made a simple heart before he set to work on something a little extra with the few bits of black clay he had as well.

*******

Lunch was less tense than breakfast had been, and while Changbin was happy that Jisung was being more of his usual self, he could feel the underlying sadness within their small talk as they ate. They weren’t sitting alone for once, either. A few friends that both boys had made throughout the week sat with them, and the lot of them joked about the events they’d shared and discussed what their plans were for the rest of the summer. But when Jisung took his turn, Changbin noticed how the younger skirted around talking about his plans and just stuck to how the week had been for him.

 _Huh,_ Changbin thought tho himself before he began his own turn. He’d ask him about it when they were alone later that night.

*******

**han jisung <3: **hyung i know you’re still in leadership, but i got us some graham crackers, marshmallows an chocolate for the campfire toniiiiiight!

Changbin smiled down at the phone in his lap and turned back to his notes. His evening free time slot had been switched with his last leadership class so that not all of the campers would be rushing about to pack up during the free time. Changbin had gone back to his cabin while Jisung was in his final skills class and repacked everything he wouldn’t need that night. He’d taken extra care to fold Seungmin’s gift in between his last two clean t-shirts, but kept the piece he made for Jisung out to make sure it had plenty of time to dry before the next morning.

All week Changbin had found himself wishing that time would slow down so he would have more time with Jisung, but now he was willing time to speed the heck up so he could leave the cramped, freezing classroom and find Jisung! A glance at the clock behind his leadership speaker told Changbin there was only a handful of minutes left in the class, and the speaker promptly began wrapping up the lesson.

Despite all the complaining he’d done prior to coming to the camp, Changbin was glad he went. He really did learn a lot from the various courses the place had to offer. He found out that while he didn’t have a real knack at arts and crafts, he still enjoyed it all the same. Recreational music was easily his favorite part of the entire camp, and no, it wasn’t _just_ because of Jisung’s natural talent.

Changbin had always known that he had a profound love of music and had kept up well enough with his piano lessons, but after his week at Camp Namu, he was sure that he’d found something he wanted to pursue for the rest of his life. He’d sent multiple messages to his parents about the discovery and was positively thrilled when they were instantly on board to help him achieve his dream!

And while Changbin was known for his outspoken and commanding personality, the various teamwork and leadership workshops helped him learn how to deal with certain situations with more positive and effective attitudes and actions.

He thanked the leadership speaker on his way out of the classroom and startled when a body came barreling into him just out side the door.

“Hyung!” Jisung squealed into Changbin’s ear, causing Changbin to flinch before he realized what kind of position they were in and brought his arms up to hold Jisung closer for a few short seconds.

“Hey.” he said softly when he pulled back. “All packed?”

Jisung took Changbin’s hand in his own and began to lead them out of the building. “Mhm.. sadly.”

Changbin looked over to the younger and knocked their shoulders together. “Don’t get sad on me now. We’ve got our campfire date soon!”

“Right... So soon. Uh,” Jisung stopped them once they were standing under the glow of one of the lampposts near the mess hall and looked out at the area of campfire pits. “I need to go back to my cabin to get stuff for the s’mores”

“Oh, right!” Changbin smiled cutely and swung their hands between them a few times. “I need to go to my own cabin to change into something lighter and put on mosquito repellent. Make sure to put yours on, too!”

“Mhmm.” Jisung replied, disconnecting their hands and backing away from Changbin in the direction of his cabin building. “Tell Seungmin-ssi I said hi if you talk to him.” He called just before he turned to walk away.

**cbinnie <3: **jisungie said to tell you hii!

 **seungminnie~:** lol hello jisung-ssi!!!

 **cbinnie <3: **I’m not w/ him right now. but i will be soon

 **cbinnie <3: **it’s almost time for the main event!

 **seungminnie~:** awww

 **seungminnie~:** how are u holding up?

 **cbinnie <3: **I’m alright for the time being. i can tell he’s getting sad, but i don’t want the sadness to ruin our last night. i’m gonna give him a gift tomorrow morning!

 **seungminnie~:** what are you going to give him??

 **cbinnie <3: **a heart that i made in crafts

 **cbinnie <3: **or, half of one anyway

 **seungminnie~:** don’t tell me... 

**seungminnie~:** the other half is yours... 

**cbinnie <3: **IT’S CUTE

 **seungminnie~:** SEO CHANGBIN YOU ARE SO CORNY

 **cbinnie <3: **SHUT UP

 **seungminnie~:** he sounds exactly like the kind of person who will love it. don’t worry lol

 **cbinnie <3: **i sure hope he does.

 **cbinnie <3: **okayyy i’m all changed and dowsed in mosquito spray

 **cbinnie <3: **gtggggg

 **cbinnie <3: **I guess I’ll text you in the morning

 **seugnminnie~:** YOU BETTER TEXT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TONIGHT 

**cbinnie <3: **we’ll seeeee ;)

 **seugnminnie~:** seochangbin i swear to god.

 **cbinnie <3: **byebyeee love you<3 <3 <3

 **seungminnie~:** be safe! it’s dark ;;

 **cbinnie <3: **i will, i will~!

 **seungminnie~:** <3

Changbin was a little late to the “campfire party,” but he wasn’t even the slightest bit mad about it. The walk form his cabin was literally _glowing_ and he wished he had a nice camera to capture the moment with. The fire pits all around the camping grounds were aflame with varying amounts of folding chairs occupied by campers splayed around them. It was a gorgeous site; the specks of orange and yellow lighting up the tired, but joyous faces of all the camp attendees... But there was one particular face Changbin longed to see a bit more than the rest; he just hoped that Jisung really had managed to snag the pit they’d discussed before, or else he’d be searching for a long time.

It still took him a while to get to the designated spot thanks to all of the campers and staff members he’d grown close to over the week stopping him to chat or say their farewells. But he managed to get there eventually, and when he did, all the noise behind and around him faded into static like background music. And, not for the first time that week, Han Jisung became the center of Changbin’s attention.

He looked ethereal, even dressed in a tank top with a beanie over his head. But what really sealed the deal was the acoustic guitar settled across Jisung’s lap as he strummed various chords and hummed a nameless tune.

Changbin was nine years and eight months old when he fell in love for the first time. It took three years and a month, and the most radiant boy he’d ever met, for him to fall in love a second time.

“Oh, Hyung, you’re here!” Jisung’s sweet and soft voice pulled Changbin from his love-struck haze and nearly sent him spiraling once more when he smiled up at him.

“Mm,” Changbin hummed, taking a seat next to Jisung. “All the other pits have at _least_ four campers around them.. How on earth did you manage to get it to be just us?”

Jisung lifted one of his hands up in defense and kept the other on the neck of his guitar. “I didn’t bully anyone away, I swear!” He then used the same hand to point in the direction of a rowdier group just outside the woods they were taking cover in. “They came over and asked if I was using the other three chairs and I told them they could only take two of them because I was saving the other for‒”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Changbin droned, unrolling the pack of graham crackers that Jisung had placed on a beach towel in front of their feet. “You already got into the s’mores? Without me?!”

“You’re the one who took a hundred years to get out here!” Jisung retorted, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, speaking of that, Seungminnie said to tell you ‘hi’ back!” Changbin mused as he worked a plump marshmallow onto the prongs of the roasting stick. “I think you made his day just by acknowledging him.”

“I wish I could meet him.” Jisung sighed wistfully. “He sounds great.”

Changbin thrust the stick in to their fire and cast a sidelong glance at Jisung. “You’re not saying that because you’re into him, right?”

“Changbin.” Jisung deadpanned with the most incredulous look on his face. “You are the most dense person alive if you think I’m into your _best friend.”_

“Well…” Changbin pulled the stick from the fire and let the marshmallow stay aflame for a moment longer before he blew it out and looked back to Jisung. “Is there someone you _are_ into, then?”

Jisung fixed him with the same dumbfounded look from before and leaned over the top of his guitar until his face was just inches away from Changbin’s.

“You cannot be this dense, Seo Changbin.”

Changbin’s heart thumped wildly in his chest and he was convinced that the flock of butterflies were doing their best to avoid the organ’s murderous pattern when Jisung was _that_ close to him.

The crackling of the fire was all Changbin could hear next to the blood pumping in his ears as Jisung’s eyes searched his. The rest of the forest grew mute around them and the trees veiled them just enough to avoid all prying eyes... And Jisung... Jisung was absolutely glowing by the light the fire was casting across his warm honey skin.

Changbin swallowed thickly. “I think you need to spell it out for me.”

“Okay.” Jisung whispered. He laid his guitar flat in his lap to give himself more room and began to lean in. His free hand came up to curl around the back of Changbin’s neck and their eyes both slipped shut just before their lips pressed together.

Jisung’s kisses tasted like melted chocolate and toasted marshmallows, with just a hint of the Mountain Dew drink Changbin knew the younger loved. And when Changbin inhaled sharply through his nose, he could smell the natural earthiness around them mixed with Jisung’s sunscreen and the air freshener that was used in every cabin clinging to his clothes.

Changbin had kissed a few people between his first time with Hyunjin and now, but none of them prepared him for how it would _feel._ Kissing Jisung made Changbin feel as if he was floating on air without a single worry in his head. All he knew at that moment was Han Jisung’s beautiful heart shaped lips on top of his and the scratch of blunt nails at the base of his neck.

Seo Changbin had his first real kiss at twelve years old, and absolutely nothing compared to the exhilarating feeling of breathlessness when they pulled apart just enough to press their foreheads together, blissed out and panting in each other’s air.

“A-Are you picking up what I’m putting down, Hyung?” Jisung said between breaths before his eyes slowly fluttered open.

Changbin cracked a grin and pulled back only to tilt his head in false confusion. “Hmm.. You know, I’m usually a pretty quick learner, but I think you’re going to help me out some more on this one.”

“Oooh, teacher-student relations.. Saucy!” Jisung joked with a goofy smile until Changbin slapped at his chest.

“HAN JISUNG!” He half-whispered, half-yelled with shocked wide eyes!

“You started it!” Jisung whispered back through high laughter.

“Pfft. I don’t want to kiss you anymore, stinky!” Changbin scrunched his nose before he frowned down at his marshmallow. “And you owe me another marshmallow. This one is cold now!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jisung rolled his eyes and took the metal stick from Changbin’s hand and popped the cold toasted marshmallow into his mouth. 

“‘ou shur ‘ou don’ want ‘a kiss me?” He leaned closer until he was in Changbin’s face with his mouth full of mushy mallow, making sure Changbin had a full view of it coating the inside of his mouth.

“Yuck! Why are you like this?!” Changbin squealed before he broke into a fit of giggles. “Why do I like you?!” He groaned in a quieter voice.

“Look, do you want me to make you a new one or not?” Jisung asked, still laughing to himself at Changbin’s reaction.

“Don’t worry, I got it. I’ll make one for both of us.” Changbin took the stick back and used it to gesture at the forgotten instrument in Jisung’s lap. “Why did you bring that with you, anyway?”

Jisung scratched the back of his head and coughed.

“Uh. Well.” He fixed the guitar so that it was upright again and pulled a pick from his pocket. “I worked on something during my downtime and wanted to show it to you.”

“Let’s hear it then!” Changbin exclaimed excitedly as he pushed two fresh marshmallows into the fire with the chocolate and graham crackers prepared in advance that time!

“It’s not my own lyrics, but I thought it was fitting.” Jisung admitted shyly. He strummed a few different chords and cleared his throat. “Here goes nothing.”

He started with a few slow chords with a couple of notes between them to set up a beautiful medium-tempo melody that Jisung jumped right into with his honey-like voice, and Changbin forced himself to keep his attention on making s’mores. And he was successful with it until‒ 

_“I want you here forever, right here, by my side.”_

That line, paired with the most endearing smile Changbin had seen on Jisung, yet... It became a pitiful sight not long after. Changbin had just taken a bite of his s’mores when Jisung sang the dang line, and _that_ on top of the rest of the song and the confession attached to it... Changbin was overwhelmed.

“Ah, Hyung.” Jisung whispered through subtler sniffles once the song was over. He reached over to wipe tears from Changbin’s face and a few stray graham cracker crumbs from his lips. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. And now _I’m_ crying because _you’re_ crying.”

Jisung laid his guitar on the towel and wrapped his hand around Changbin’s free one.

“Shh,” he hushed the older boy with sad eyes and an even sadder heart. “You’re going to make someone think I hurt you, Hyung.” Jisung joked while he wiped his own stubborn tears away.

Changbin finished chewing his food and swallowed - already sorry to Jisung for letting him see such a gross side of himself. “I- Is this really goodbye?” Changbin hiccuped, trying to calm himself down.

“No, silly. That’s not until tomorrow.” Jisung replied sadly. “But I have something else for you, now.”

“Are you going to kiss me again?” Changbin asked, rubbing the snot from his nose with his wrist.

Jisung smiled teasingly. “Do you want me to?”

“Maybe in a little bit when I’m not a snotty cry baby.” Changbin giggled.

“Okay, deal. But what I have now is something different.”

Jisung pulled a piece of rolled up tissue paper from his pocket and carefully unwrapped it until he revealed something small, round, and vibrant red in color.

“A strawberry?!” Changbin squawked, eyes wide as he leaned as far away from Jisung as his chair allowed. “What kind of Romeo and Juliet bull are you trying to pull by killing me, Han Jisung?! Huh??”

Jisung couldn’t contain his laughter then. He held the strawberry out until it was inches from Changbin’s face and dropped it into Changbin’s lap. “I’m flattered that you think it looks real enough to be an actual strawberry.”

“It’s not real?!” Changbin squinted down at the object in his lap without touching it and noticed for the first time that it was, indeed, fake.

Jisung scoffed and picked up the other half of the treat Changbin had made before his emotional breakdown and popped it into his mouth. “Why the hell would I try to poison you, Hyung? You watch too many movies.” He spoke through his mouthful, spitting crumbs all over his lap and wiping them off.

“Well, you kissed me, you confessed with a love song... This is practically a lover’s last farewell, Sung. All the signs point toward my death if you ask me.”

Jisung rolled his eyes, dusted the remaining crumbs off his fingers, and picked up the strawberry that was still sitting in Changbin’s lap.

“I made this during crafts. Sculpted it the first time and then I painted it during our last class. I’m glad it dried fast enough.” He turned the strawberry over in his hand a few times and handed it back to Changbin, who took it gingerly between his fingers to examine it closely. “Now you have a good memory with a strawberry and can enjoy it without the worry of it possibly killing you.”

Changbin eyes didn’t look away from the strawberry in his palm as he replied. “Yah, Han Jisung... Come here.” He demanded.

Jisung glanced at him cautiously. “Why?”

“Because I’m going to kiss you, again.”

*******

**cbinnie <3: **are u awake?

 **seungminnie~:** as if i was going to sleep until i heard back from u. pffft

 **cbinnie <3: **it’s after midnight! you should sleeeeeep

 **seungminnie~:** u wouldn’t be texting me atm if u didn’t have something to tell me!

 **seungminnie~:** i knew staying up was a good idea!

 **cbinnie <3: **smh

 **cbinnie <3: **heh... 

**seungminnie~:** SPILL

 **seungminnie~:** NOW

 **cbinnie <3: **Jisung has really nice lips.

 **seungminnie~:** YAAAAAAS SEO CHANGBIIIIN!

 **cbinnie <3: **loll

 **cbinnie <3: **MMMMMMMMMIIIIIINNNNIIIIIIIEEEEEE!

 **cbinnie <3: **he sang me a song and made me a strawberry that can’t hurt me Q__________Q

 **seungminnie~:** ugh. you guys are so cute! qq

 **seungminnie~:** ho wmany times did u kiss

 **cbinnie <3: **hmm, three times?

 **cbinnie <3: **the first time was <3 <3 <3\. second time was after he gave me the stupid strawberry.

 **cbinnie <3: **third time was a goodbye kiss since we won’t be able to have one in the morning

 **seungminnie~:** :(

 **seungminnie~:** did you guys talk about “it”?

 **cbinnie <3: **nope.

 **seungminnie~:** wth 

**seungminnie~:** so u confessed to each other but ??? is that it? ur gonna leave it at that?

 **cbinnie <3: **min, what else can we do???

 **seungminnie~:** u should have at least DISCUSSED the option of long distance

 **cbinnie <3: **i dont even know where he lives

 **cbinnie <3: **he’s fluent in english like hyunjinnie was... and that alone is enough to scare me out of asking

 **seungminnie~:** at least ask what you are to him before you leave tomorrow

 **cbinnie <3: **i’ll think about it

 **seungminnie~:** i’m coming over when you get home

 **cbinnie <3: **I was gonna sk you to come over lol

 **seungminnie~:** great minds ^^

 **cbinnie <3: **i’ll see u tomorrow afternoon?

 **seungminnie~:** yeah<3

 **seungminnie~:** get some good sleep, hyung

 **cbinnie <3: **you too, minnie. sweet dreams<3

 **seungminnie~:** night~

Breakfast the following morning ended up being cereal and granola bars served inside the various cabins to give all campers a little bit of time to sleep in, clean up their spaces, and get ready to leave. Changbin spent at least twenty minutes laying in his bed and listening to the rest of his cabin mates move about the space as he browsed through the photos he’d taken throughout the week.

**seo changbin <3: **we’re pretty cute^^

 **seo changbin <3: ** _[2 photos attached.]_

 **han jisung <3: **hey hyung. good morning

 **han jisung <3: **my ride is on its way... can you meet me behind the mess hall real quick?

 **seo changbin <3: **oh.. yeah sure

 **seo changbin <3: **on my way~!

Changbin grabbed the clay creation he made for Jisung and told his cabin staff member he would be right back before he set out to find Jisung.

*******

**cbinnie <3: **why is love so painful?

 **seungminnie~:**? what happened, hyung?

 **cbinnie <3: **ha. we talked about “it”

 **seungminnie~:**... 

**cbinnie <3: **he lives in MALAYSIA, Seungmin

 **cbinnie <3: **lol i’m so freaking sad.

 **seungminnie~:** oh binnie, i’m so sorry..

 **cbinnie <3: **his dad was here for work and jisung didn’t want to sit around their apartment all summer

 **cbinnie <3: **apparently he’d gone to similar camps in the past, so he was interested in this one 

**cbinnie <3: **haaaaa i should have suspected something like this when he gave me a messenger ID instead of his number.

 **seungminnie~:** binniiiiie :( :(

 **cbinnie <3: **i gave him his present before he told me and he started crying

 **seungminnie~:** wasn’t it a heart?

 **cbinnie <3: **yeah. a stupid half heart with my initials on it and the date painted on the back

 **cbinnie <3: **i have the other half of it with HIS initials on it.

 **seungminnie~:** you’re such a romantic hyung... but it sounds like he is too

 **cbinnie <3: **he said he was going to keep it until we meet again to match them together.

 **cbinnie <3: **or something like that. it was slightly difficult to understand him while he was crying.

 **seungminnie~:** trust me, you are no better when u cry

 **cbinnie <3: **lol shush.

 **seungminnie~:** should i have my mom pick up ice cream on our way to your place?

 **cbinnie <3: **yeah. anything but strawberry flavor

 **cbinnie <3: **or mint chocolate.

 **seungminnie~:** hater :P

 **cbinnie <3: **<3

 **seungminnie~:** wait, so you “talked” about it tho???

 **cbinnie <3: **yeah. decided not to pursue a long distance relationship

 **cbinnie <3: **he said i gave him his happiest memory yet

 **cbinnie <3: **so there’s that.

 **cbinnie <3: **UGH THE WORST PART IS HE FIT NEARLY EVERY CATEGORY/RULE, MIN

 **cbinnie <3: **he’s also FOREIGN WITH SOME EXCEPTIONS

 **seungminnie~:** lol. love sucks.

 **cbinnie <3: **OTL u can say that again.

****THIRTY MINUTES EARLIER****

“You’re not the prettiest crier.” Changbin joked as Jisung fought to calm his hiccups and sniffles.

“Shut up. You should have seen yourself last night!”

Changbin giggled. “Touche.”

He glanced around the deserted are behind the mess hall and stepped closer to the younger boy. “Why did you drag me all the way out here. We could have done this by the cabins.”

Jisung shook his head, pocketing the clay gift and pulling Changbin closer by the flaps of his open flannel shirt. “Because I wanted goodbye kisses. I love your kisses and I don’t know if I’ll ever get them again. I need to get my fill of them while I can.”

Changbin licked his lips in anticipation and smiled slyly.

“You mean we could have been kissing this whole time?” He whined in the cutest voice he could muster up and Jisung’s response was instantaneous.

Jisung leaned his back against the brick wall behind him and pulled Changbin forward with his hands still bunched into Changbin’s shirt until their lips were on each other and they were kissing like they wouldn’t get such an opportunity ever again.

* * *

Before he met Han Jisung, Changbin would always roll his eyes or scoff at the obvious love line plots in pre-teen and coming of age movies and books. He would obnoxiously yell into Seungmin’s ear about how dramatic and dumb the protagonists were and that they were too young to even know what love was.

He thought about all of that during the car ride home from Camp Namu. He thought about just how accurate the character’s feelings were portrayed, and even began to compare himself to them until he feel asleep and dreamt of cozy campfire kisses that tasted like summer with a hint of Mountain Dew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated! I'll get the next chapter out a soon as possible~!
> 
> twt/insta: @lovelyjjix  
> cc: curiouscat.me/lovelyjjix


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